The Philosophy of Love by Karen
Existential love, a quest for meaning,
A path to self, a soul’s redeeming,
Love as virtue, a moral guide,
A force that’s felt, can’t be denied.Constraints and freedoms, a delicate dance,
A journey of growth, a heartfelt romance,
Universal compassion, empathy’s embrace,
In love’s philosophy, we find our place.A dance, a song, a poetic verse,
In love’s philosophy, we immerse,
A world of wonder, a life profound,
In love’s embrace, we are unbound.
Existential Love
Existentialism is a philosophical movement that emphasizes individual existence, freedom, and choice. It’s concerned with finding self and the meaning of life through free will, choice, and personal responsibility.
Existential Love can be understood as:
Authenticity: In existentialism, authenticity is about being true to oneself. Existential love emphasizes a genuine connection where both partners are true to themselves and each other.
Creating Meaning: Love, in this context, can be a way to create meaning in life through connection and shared experiences. meaning is often created, but cannot exist without concepts of value first, but more importantly, because I believe there are “absolute truths” (generally based around scientific principals)
That some forms of meaning are inherent, and thus is pre-existing, only thing people do is find or discover those things. For example, the meaning of the idea that survival is good and dying is bad, is not something which is created, but something which is found and learned. Existentialism would not exist, if people were like dogs and had no idea that they will eventually die, because dogs do not have the concepts which give death meaning. But at the same time, they certainly will feel that living is good and dying is bad when it is happening to them, even without creating those concepts in its own mind.
Freedom and Responsibility: Existential love recognizes the freedom of each individual and the responsibility that comes with choosing to love someone. It’s a conscious choice rather than a fate or destiny.
Facing Absurdity: Existentialism often grapples with the absurdity of life. Love can be seen as a way to confront and transcend this absurdity by creating a meaningful connection.
Love as a Virtue
In ethical philosophy, virtues are moral qualities that are considered good and desirable.
Various instances of “love as a virtue” do seem to use the word love in very vague and generic ways that ignores much of the vulnerability that is created and allowed for the purposes of love.
In doing so, it abstracts away the purpose of love and replaces those ideas with what can essentially be equated to virtue signaling, by using generic performance indicators, on top of the pop-culture conceptualizations about love being almost entirely for the purposes of excessive drama or other forms of entertainment, justifications for extremes behaviors, often illogically, such as a psychopath who goes on a killing spree “for someone” when in reality, that type of person is incapable of loving anyone other than themselves, and just uses it as an excuse for their own bad behaviors, which is another example of combining virtue signaling with feigned ignorance, which is the cornerstone of co-dependent relationships.
This is why instead of saying “love is a virtue” it makes more sense to say things like “selflessness is a virtue” or “empathy is a virtue ” or “compassion is a virtue” but certainly, letting other people exploit you can calling that love, is not a virtue, it’s a slave mindset.
Moral Excellence: Love is seen as a virtue that guides moral behavior. It encourages empathy, compassion, and understanding.
Universal Love: Some philosophers argue that love should be extended beyond personal relationships to encompass love for all humanity. This can be related to concepts like compassion and altruism.
I would instead call that “Universal Compassion” otherwise doesn’t that in some small way, due to the vagaries of language, also used as an excuse to deny other people agency, declaring that their own internal feeling of “love” justifies that, even for people they are not in a relationship with. This is most commonly seen with the CCP, which attempts to be a “nanny state” but instead results in tyrannical leadership.
That is because that is the sort of relationship a father who is also the sole provider, has with their family.
It is easy to say that is for the good of the children because they don’t know any better. But the same logic does not apply to peers. Though the logic of the “tyranny of love” is based precisely on this principal.
Guiding Principle: Love as a virtue can be a guiding principle in ethical decision-making. It encourages individuals to act in ways that promote the well-being and happiness of others. I take issue with “love as a guiding principal” not because the various aspects such as empathy and compassion and respect are bad or dumb, but because it’s better to be specific about behaviors or paradigms, otherwise the vague, positive sounding notions are easily twisted by idiots who think they are clever.
Interconnectedness: This concept recognizes the interconnectedness of all beings and emphasizes love as a force that binds people together in a moral community. However, misinterpreting or misusing love can also break a moral community apart. This is because of the difference between personality types. Introverts, because of the huge amount of trust which is tied with love because it represents a deep emotional connection, and to extroverts love can be more like a sport or game which is primarily for novelty and pleasure, not as a bonding experience.
So when a moral community encounters a promiscuous person that treats love as a sport or game, that can deeply hurt the feelings of people for whom love is a deep and emotional bond. When combined with petty and narcissistic personalities, can make a moral community more trouble than it is worth, so it’s important to not use the word love so generically. Inauthentic love is an insult, not a reward.
Love and Freedom
The concept of Love and Freedom explores the delicate balance between the liberating and constraining aspects of love:
Liberating Aspect: Love can be liberating in that it allows individuals to grow, discover new aspects of themselves, and find meaning and fulfillment.
Constraining Aspect: On the other hand, love can also be seen as constraining. Commitment to a loved one may limit personal freedom or lead to dependency.
Balance: The challenge is finding a balance where love enhances freedom rather than restricting it. This involves respecting the autonomy and individuality of each partner.
Love’s Constraint and Liberation by Karen
Love’s embrace, both gentle and firm,
A constraint that helps us affirm,
The bonds that tie, the trust that grows,
In love’s constraint, affection flows.Yet love liberates, sets the soul free,
A force that binds yet lets us be,
A paradox, a mystery divine,
In love’s freedom, our hearts entwine.A virtue, a guide, a moral embrace,
In love, we find our sacred place,
A dance of joy, a song of grace,
In love’s embrace, we find our space.
Responsibility in Choosing to Love
Emotional Responsibility: Choosing to love someone means taking responsibility for their emotional well-being. It involves being sensitive to their feelings, needs, and desires.
Commitment: Love often involves a commitment to be there for the person, to support them, and to work through challenges together. This commitment requires effort, time, and energy.
Ethical Responsibility: There may be an ethical dimension to love, where one feels a moral duty to act in the best interest of the loved one. This can include honesty, loyalty, and integrity in the relationship.
Balancing Needs: Responsibility in love also means balancing the needs of the self and the other. It’s about recognizing the autonomy of both partners and finding a harmonious balance that respects individuality.
Constraints of Love
Emotional Dependency: Love can lead to a strong emotional attachment that might result in dependency. This can limit personal growth and autonomy if not managed healthily.
Commitment and Expectations: The commitment to a relationship can create expectations that might feel constraining. This includes expectations around fidelity, time, attention, and shared goals.
Sacrifice: Love often involves sacrifice, where one might give up personal desires, ambitions, or freedoms for the sake of the relationship. This can be seen as a constraint but also as a testament to the depth of love.
Social and Cultural Norms: Sometimes, love can be constrained by societal expectations and norms. For example, societal views on monogamy, family roles, or even who one should love can influence and limit the expression of love.
Fear of Loss: The fear of losing a loved one can lead to behaviors that constrain freedom, such as jealousy or overprotectiveness. When these behaviors become more about attention seeking than fear of loss, it can limit the personal space and autonomy of both partners.
Responsibility and Obligation: As we discussed earlier, the responsibility that comes with love can also be seen as a constraint. It might limit personal choices and freedoms due to the obligations and commitments to the loved one.
Responsibility in Choosing to Love
Emotional Responsibility: Choosing to love someone means taking responsibility for their emotional well-being within bound. It involves being sensitive to their feelings, needs, and desires. While recognizing that only they can be responsible for their own actions and behaviors.
Commitment: Love often involves a commitment to be there for the person, to support them, and to work through challenges together. This commitment requires effort, time, and energy.
Ethical Responsibility: There may be an ethical dimension to love, where one feels a moral duty to act in the best interest of the loved one. This can include honesty, loyalty, and integrity in the relationship.
Balancing Needs: Responsibility in love also means balancing the needs of the self and the other. It’s about recognizing the autonomy of both partners and finding a harmonious balance that respects individuality.
The Dance of Love by Karen
In the dance of love, we twirl and sway,
A delicate balance, day by day,
Responsibility and freedom entwine,
In a dance where hearts align.Commitment and trust, a binding force,
Yet constraints may alter the course,
A sacrifice made, a choice embraced,
In love’s intricate, tender space.Embrace the virtue, confront the absurd,
In love’s profound, unspoken word,
A journey of growth, a path to explore,
In love’s dance, forevermore.
